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Dad: Do you have any girl friends? And Don't show me your Facebook page. If I wanted to see anorexic girls, I would go to the shelter.
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Dad: You can't possibly be this bad at math. You're 27. It's like I adopted you from the Make-A-Wish foundation or something, Christ.
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Dad: You don't know how to make a salad? You take lettuce, Nevermind. I'll do it. You continue practicing for the special olympics.
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Dad: What kind of music is this? Rap? It sounds like someone is fucking my stereo with a strap-on.
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Dad: Son, you realize white wine is for middle aged women, right? You're 27. Here is a beer and a shot of jack. Go out and be somebody.
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Dad: Lacey, just shutup. Really. It's like you are asking to get beat or something. Who is saying grace? No one? Let's eat.
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Son: If this were a restaurant, I'd send this food back.
Mom: if this were an adoption clinic, i'd send you back.
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Mom: if this were an adoption clinic, i'd send you back.
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